Day 13 to Day 15

Project 365!

I finally found out that getting a photo to post everyday is really hard. Maybe, its me, always sitting at home doing nothing!


Day 13. 24/9/2009

Fetch my mum to Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri to settle something regarding her retirement. (pencen)
This is the place where everybody else loses their income, but it is where my allowance come from!! Muahaha. You can see the reluctant and "dulan" look of people in the office, especially when they need to queue up with number tickets. I would wanna stand up and say a big thank you, but I wouldnt do so because I am sure I will definitely get beaten up.


Day 14. 25/9/2009

I was so bored, and begin to look forward to my coming year in my gay college.
It turned out, my college is so SMEXY! ....my journey from where I stay to college "erected"!!!!
This is first year...

Then 2nd year....

Now 3rd year....

Long hard.... 2.1 miles journey to college. I have to walk 6km daily just to go classes and back. Have your parents told you? sometimes, skipping school is healthier! Imagine the 6km walk on the main road and the amount of carbon intake into your lungs....
Good excuse to ponteng, dont you think so?

Day 15. 26/9/2009

 

If you wonder what do I do in Imperial 3rd year, these are my subjects. Been through it all day long, and yes... I dont have a single clue on wat the fu*k I will be studying in any of the subjects above. Okay, I think I am screwed

Lake District

British people are with wonderful humour. I told them my meter reading and cleared all the bill, still they came out with a new bill. This time after the 2308 pound incident, they gave me discount!! Now its 786. Well, you know google run out of middle finger images la !!


A little bit earlier, just before I called British Gas, I organised a trip to Lake District. This was our post exam trip in June. Lake District is the place to be for an escape + (plus) an adventure! To those who figure out where to visit England, I recommend Lake District. Its beautiful and reasonably cheap, compare to you know Scotland.

Lake District, is not a resort or a town. Its a HUGE AREA (district) with England's largest lake and national park. There are many many lakes and places to go. I choose Windermere, the largest lake. Here we were, a small backpacker's hostel in a small town named Ambleside in Windermere. 

I choose backpacker's hostel because is cheap!! 20 pounds per person for 3 nights, self-service breakfast included. The downside is, you might have to share room with different people. But, we as a group get a room for ourselves for the 2nd and 3rd night.

We took a train to Windermere Station, disembarked, had some lunch and took a local bus straight to the hostel. The public transport even in a small town like this is very convenient.

The tea in Windermere town that afternoon, was great!
I had scampi

The name scampi sound so cute right? Yea... its what they called "king prawn" breaded and fried.
Some of them had scones.

Its so awesome, no Delicious can fight. hahaha

This was the cafe

The 1st day was relaxing and we took a walk around the area.

While these two were trying to fight....
We found some writing on a bench. Omg a romantic message!

" Tom I come back to try and find you. Not a day has gone by which I have not thought of you. Love you."
Tanya from Canada.

Actually there were more message written down describing how they met and had a great time. There was even a message saying it was the 2nd time she came back! Well these messages dated some 10 years ago. WoW!



The 2nd day, we went for our first adventure. A bike trip around the whole lake. Guess what, it was an exhausting, 42miles journey. What we got was a mountain bike and a map. Thanks to iPhone with GPS, we managed to track down even the small dirt path.

Poor thing Melissa seldom be in the photo because this is her camera.

When I first got on the bicycle I PKed. Grr. I tumbled and fell on the tar road. I had to argue that its the brake's fault. Normally rear brake is on the right hand side right? right ? Well my friend laughed and told me its always on the left. WTH I got Aaron to agree that its on the right okay....

The result? pain + pain for 42 miles of ride.

We seemed to get lost all the time.

And there seem to be a person who always dont give a damn about where she is.

I kept laughing when the other guy fell as well. He had a minor dizzyness.

Not to say, he fell the 2nd time after trying to ride with one hand through rocky roads. Lols

A guy who always laugh at other person's mishaps.


The road trip was really scenic and tranquil.

We were lost again somewhere near a castle....

Because of losing our way all the time, we didnt get lunch, we were totally exhausted.

But I caught Melissa camwhoring. Hahaha!

That night we went for a satisfying dinner. All of us had a 3 course meal !! And I'm not joking, English take their 3 course defination really seriously.

Can you imagine that? This is a starter! Smoke salmon salad.
And there were salad prawns..

Then it came the main course

 

And desserts

The 3rd day, we went kayaking on the beautiful lake.
It was fun, but tiring because to kayak to the other side of the lake takes like half an hour.

We waved to alot of yatches and boats and cruises.

Funnily, a group of people on a boat greeted " Konichiwa" to us.

Nah, nobody brought a camera to kayaking except for one funny guy. The above pictures weren't fake, but its just after we came on shore....

There, we were, the happy moments in Lake District!

 

That funny guy missed his train on the last day when we went back, and dropped his iPhone into the lake.

But, I have got to say, William , iPhone rocks! It saved our life when we were lost with good GPS navigation. Besides, it saved itself after drowning in the lake. I can't believe it , my friend dried the phone, and now its fully functional.

A letter to my baby

Dear British Gas,

Hi, my name is Voon Yuan, your loyal fan and great supporter.


First of all, I would like to thank you for supplying me with energy to our nice little flat in Earls Court. We wouldn't have survived the extreme winter without your helpful engineer who came to fix our boiler/heater AFTER TWO FREAKING MONTHS we called you !!!


Recently as we moved out the flat during summer, I was so sad because I had to call you to end our relationship. (Supplier and User). I have to confess that I wet my pillows many times thinking of you.
Until one fine day during the summer, I received an email from you. I was so surprised and excited!

Oh! Didn't I ended my relationship with you? And you still remember me.....

This is the kinda email you used to send me when we were together.

It was jaw-dropping when I click to the link to view my bill.

I cant believe it! After all this while.....

I thought we said we were clear to £0.00 when we broke up!

Confused as I was I ran up the stairs and called you with my new bt hub kick-ass cordless phone.

I was shocked to find that you have changed your number!! Your cute operator gave me your new number 0800 048 0202. Dont blame her okay?

Then when I finally get to speak to you AFTER ALL YOUR MOTHER FUKIN OPERATORS AND COMPUTER CHECK... Your 2nd girlfriend answered. So, I spoke gently, I swear it was just as gentle as you would go up her arse....


Below was our conversation:

"Hi, I would like to ask about my bill and its an important matter."

"Oh, I need to give my bf a blowjob, I put you on the billing department okay? "

10 fuckin (literally okay) minutes later..

"Hi, I am blabla from billing department. I checked through your account."

"So, do I have to pay you £2308.94 ??"

"Yes, sir... indeed" (bloody scottish accent)

"But why? because I hooked up on your wife?"

"Can I speak to the lovely lady who spoke to me at first? I havent finish flirting with her yet."
"Okay.. If you wish"

"Hi, cutie, can you check what was the final payment I've made to British Gas?"

"Yes, its £354.54 ."

"Do you know why I paid you this amount? Its should be the outstanding amount to terminate our energy supply by 19th June 2009. It was based on our true meter reading!! "

"Oh, I thought you paid to get me laid... one moment I checked it up for you. "

Another 10 fuckin minutes.... (luckily I was using my kick-ass cordless phone, I can on loudspeaker, listen to the purrring voice the girl made, while I continue to work with my stuff )

"Yes sir, we finally found that it was based on a meter reading 10xxx is it correct sir? "

"HOW the fuck I gonna remember my meter reading?? I have no idea.. I guess so."

"But we dont have it recorded on our system, so we billed you. " (Equivalent of saying I am a guy but I have no cock! )

" Well, since you tell me, why dont you record it now ? I'm done !!"

"Okay sir, we will send you a new bill in 10 working days."

"WTF???? You gonna bill me again???? "

"Yes... for that phone porn you heard for 20 minutes!"

Thanks for your time dear... Oh, I have decided, since we didnt meet for so long, I compiled a short video specially for you. Enjoy dear !!






Please DO NOT estimate me okay ??


Yours sincerely

vY

The day I got my BT hub.

One fine day when I was in London...

I was told the night before that our new broadband hub will reach the next day.
You know, we are all very excited about getting our new internet connection, claimed to be 20Mbps!

Early in the morning (actually its 10.15am) .... I heard a knock on my house's door.
I was somewhat dreaming, but I didnt know why, that soft slight knock woke me up almost immediately. As I'd told you, my mind was pre-programmed that my hub will reach today.

I popped up straight away, dash down the stairs and worried that the guy would leave. The truth is, those delivery guys do leave very quickly if they don't find you at home. As a result, you would need to pick up your package at the local depot.


And the story continues....

I rushed down, grabbed the door handle, flung open the door, prepared myself to say thank you.....
To my surprise 2 middle age black lady was standing in front of me.

Me on the other hand, so shocked, and was shivering (because cold la! )

Lady: " Good morning."

Me: "..... Good... mourning moorning........"

Lady: " Do you like peace? "

Me: (Yes I LOVE peace! Now could you give me some peace and piss off ? I wanna get some sleep here!!)
       " Well, of course I do."

Lady: " How do you think we can be peaceful? "

Me * scratch head *
Lady: " Have you been reading the bible lately? " * flips open a page of a bible *

Urghhh I knew it!! Another Jesus lesson. You know it wouldnt be nice to chase them away.... what should I do?  pretend that I am one of them.

Me: " Yes, I read it. Just finished a few months ago."

Lady: " No, I am not going to talk about the bible. Will you let me in? "

Me: (what the hell?? For f*ck sake no!! ) " Er, I might need to ask few of my friends, they might be  interested, but they are not in at the moment. "

Lady: " Lovely, can I come back in the morning or afternoon?"

Me: " Unfortunately, we will always be busy in the morning or afternoon, we have lectures everyday. " (muahahaha.)

Lady: " Evening is fine too. "

Me: " err.... we'll see." Giving an extremely tulan look.
Lady: " Meanwhile take this.." * reaches her bag for something *

Me: " Oh.. I've already got a bible, its very kind of you."

Lady: " No, you wouldn't have this. "

* hands over this book to me *

Swt..................speechless......... !@##!%$&(*+_&^!

after a long  -_-''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' face and

I got angry and threw it on the desk of my friend who wouldnt wanna wake up to answer the door.


After 1 hour.....
I heard another knock again. This time it was a loud and quick knock.
But paranoid I was, I walked slowly towards the door to peep. The knock came again, it sounded like the guy couldn't wait to take a dump.

Random guy : " Hello sir can I use your toilet? "

Finally my hub has arrived.

Nice cool hub.

It has the latest wireless N technology. The signal is so strong, I even get a full bar strength 2 floors below the hub.

And it came with a house phone attached.

Why is there a USB port??

thelondonpaper

A few days ago while I was in London, I took a long lonely tube ride to Heathrow fetching Chai Earn and friends.

Since I was bored, I randomly picked up one of these to read. (they are always scattered all around in the tube)

Usually, you find alot of people giving out these free papers on the streets but usually I wouldnt take. You know... I am so used of growing up in Malaysia, when stranger approaches you, you just keep saying NO!
No matter what intentions they have.

Eg. "Hey!.!."

(Your mind would only perceive the "Hey!" shout and send out reflexes like Omg another scammer on the streets)
       " No, no no... I am sorry, no time!"
       " You dropped your wallet.... =.=''' " 


Am I correct? Lols that was actually what happened to us in Scotland.


Well, I was so bored and I read almost all parts of the paper. Its full of gossip news and sometimes nice hot pictures !!.

Even upside down...

Until I found this really really interesting page. Normally, it doesnt look very interesting and I would just flipped through thinking its some advertorial page. But that is this corner here that is just so awesome! check it out!!

Its called Lovestruck. Basically, its for flirting with the newspaper. You can send whatever messages you like to whoever random person u happened to meet on the bus, tube,.or restaurants or banks or ... Mars, Jupiter...etc

What's really really interesting and funny, are the messages the people send.

The message above is what I call a typical message. It reads:

" Rosa, the gorgeous dark-haired girl I saw on the Northern line (this is the london overground service line) to Waterloo last week. I missed two trains before speaking with you while you ate your burger. How about that drink? Guy doing sudoku on the tube."

Now I find this really cool :

(Sorry for the weird angles. I was like a weirdo taking pictures of the newspaper)

"To the beautiful dark haired girl waiting outside Mansion House station at 1pm on Tuesday. I caught you checking out my bum when I turned around. Fancy another look some time? Rear of the year "

Wow!! Rear of the year!! Loved this nickname. I wonder if she is a girl. wooshh.


I really like this column until the I read the next fucking message:

 OMG WTF !! 哇特发 !!!!! Gay shits!

Finally this message below freaked me out the most:

" To the cute Asian guy at Kingston, 7am, end of platform on Wednesday. Me: tall, suited and thought you were cute. Drink? PRETTY COOL "

I swear I will not go to Kingston (wherever hell it is)!!!
* Instantly throwing the paper away.*
* Wipe sweat with sleeves *
* Looks around pretty carefully showing middle finger to every guy that try to divert their eyes towards my sight.*
* gaze at chicks*