Give and take

When you sit alone in a room for a day, you get all sorts of wild thoughts running in your mind.
I was suppose to force myself to work on the piece of Matlab code my supervisor gave me, I wonder why I get more and more reluctant to work on weekends.

Currently, I would think that anything could be achieved in this world, but there is this one simplest primitive task that I always fail at .... relationship. Not only the guy/girl type, I think I suck at all sorts.. from friends to family.

I would wanna blame how I was introduced to this world in the past 18 years, instantly I could slap myself for having this thought. I believe I am not a caring person, and I didn't know how to. I don't wanna follow the pathetic path that I've witnessed for such a long time. I hate to be alone, but am I better off alone?

Can my reader tell me why is it so hard to cultivate relationship than to score A? Maybe I was born with the lack of some part of my brain. Am I a caring and helpful person? Yes, come and slap me or something! Scold, criticise and say yes, you dumb moron!
I should be contented. Mediocrity is a luxury, love cherishes.  FML.

Ps: You could/should totally ignore this post, it would be good if you could show me a finger, better if you say fuck off.